I miss your ralf. You were always kind, respectable, and fair to me. It seemed as if you were always there. There on my birthday, open and always with joy, there with tips on marigolds, popyseeds and more.

I miss you Ralf. You were a grandpa to me and I feel like you were put on earth just for me to love.

I miss you Ralf.

Second Poem

My head is spinning violently, and I know exactly why. I just can't understand why people I love die. In my heart I know you are happy, up in heaven with your Winnie. But, if I had it my way, everything would change. You both would be down on earth, with your lovely house.

Nothing would be complicated. There would be no tears. I would not be wearing black with sound ringing in my ears. I wish it didn't end this way. Although I think it fair that Winnie is opening the Pearly Gates for you up in the air.

So, even though it's hard to say goodbye, I can really understand you weren't really happy here, without your Winnie in your hands.

A stroke took you away from me, but joined you with your wife. I just want to say I'm glad I had you in my life. So, goodbye Ralf and Winnie too.

Please remember me because I'll always remember you.

Rest In Peace Ralf and Winnie, a friend and husband, a neighbor…Here lies Ralf, finally his mind is at peace.

Yesterday I sat by his bed and had a couple of beers with him. Of course, I drank his share while I reminisced about all the funny, sorrowful and joyful times we shared over the last 59 years. I also talked about my mom who I feel is with us, just waiting to escort my dad to heaven.

Today I got up early and prayed the rosary with him. Then I had a cup of strong coffee with him. Of course, I drank his share since he cannot swallow.

It is truly a miracle on how long a person can live without food or water. With my mom dying last April 16th at 92 and my dad dying within the next couple of days at 85, I really appreciate the value of having a strong constitution.

Over the last 4 years of taking care of my dad, he had so many near death experiences and trips to the emergency ward, the EMTs got a good laugh when I told them, "My dad is the bionic man (with so many parts replaced through emergency surgeries). If there was a nuclear explosion, the only survivors would be my dad and the cockroaches."

I also need to mention some other special people who have done a lot to bring comfort to my dad and family.

The hospice nurses are true angels and have been on duty 24 hours a day. They are so filled with compassion, light and wisdom. They have participated in the deaths of so many people, it is truly a privilege to have such kind and empathetic individuals ministering tenderly to my dad.

After my dad is gone, I will reply to each person's email in appreciation for you taking the time to be such a wonderful inspiration and encouragement to me.

Take care,
Ralph

He suffered a massive stroke yesterday and is in a coma. His wish
was to die at home without any intervention.

If you can tell all our friends and heroes that know me to pray for
a painless and quick passing for my dad.

He is one of my biggest heroes. I will miss him very much.

Take care,
Ralph

PS Thank you for your prayers.

You can see all the posts by Clicking HERE

Don't get me wrong! Money is good and especially the things you can buy and do with it. Most of us would not mind have a few extra hundred thousand in our bank accounts. (-:

However, when anyone suddenly has the epiphany that money and material possessions are not the most important things in life, it is a time to rejoice. Besides that means there is one less rich jerk in the world! (-:

The big question is that now that a person has become enlightened, WHATS NEXT! Do they have the courage to change their lives? Are they willing deal with the fear of loss and graciously receive the abuse of those in their immediate circle, like spouses, children, relatives, who love money, wealth, the latest electronic gadgets, new exotic cars, big houses and awesome vacations.

I respect Frank that once he realized the important things in life, he immediately dumped the businesses that were making him tons of money but he hated, that he did not enjoy working with, because they did not match his new paradigm.

That either takes a lot of balls or is completely stupid, depending on your perspective.

I guess the hardest thing in life is to be happy without already having the blessing of wealth and financial freedom. For those of us who can not write a million dollar check, don't drive BMWs, Porches, Lexus, Mercedes, etc, have good sized balances on our credit cards and endure lives that do not match our dream day, the challenge is to have faith in our dreams, accept our present reality and then persevere in our efforts to create the life we want.
RZ

I also think people are wired differently, just by personality types. Some people are wired where they do need the recognition and I don?t think there is anything wrong with that as long as they are getting the job done. Other people feel more comfortable in being behind the lines, being support personal. Its funny, some things I want to be in the lime light and some things I prefer to be in the background so I think it shifts. I think where the persons heart is, is the key factor.

Something happened to me at the Salt Lake City Olympics that made it possible for me to compete. We were training and this was three days before the men?s race. At the Salt Lake City Olympics we are training on the track. We get seven trainings on the week before and I had a terrible crash on one of those rounds. I just wasn?t paying attention believe it or not and had an awful crash and my sled was pretty messed up. I am not much of a sled mechanic and I walk back into the start house with my sled and my face was just pale, not so much from my crash but from my sled. I thought ?My gosh I have a race in three days and I don?t even have a sled.

This guy walks up to me, his name is Jonathan Edwards, he had completed in the Luge back in 1994 and I didn?t even know him. He walks up to me and he says ?Hey Ruben just give me a file and in thirty minutes I will have fixed that sled for you.? He didn?t have to do that. He had nothing to gain other than the satisfaction that he was helping another human being. He was my guardian Angel.

He just came out of nowhere and he helped me out. It made me realize ?Wow, what if we all strive to be like that?? To be on the lookout and have a certain level of awareness around us and ask ourselves ?Where can I lend a helping hand? A simple thing for us might be life changing for someone else.

The great use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts it.
- William James

Alex Mandossian: I think most heroes don?t. I think there is an anonymous mother somewhere who is not getting the recognition that she deserves.

I think there is a politician who is honest and who has always been on the straight and narrow who has not received recognition. I think there is a governor out there or a mayor who hasn?t been recognized.
There is a prime minister who has saved lives in his country or her country who hasn?t gotten recognition. The reason we don?t know who they are is because they have not received recognition. They are leaders from behind. They are heroes from behind. They are anonymous and that?s how we started this interview.

Dear Ralph,

Thank you for wanting to help.

I have finished writing letters to those I wish to say goodbye. I worry the most about my daughter. She is the person who loved me and trusted me as if she could see my soul and from the first moment her tiny fingers wrapped around my pinkie she owned my heart.

I never experienced love so pure as I received from my Baby Girl. She is a mom now. She has four gorgeous children of her own. Her oldest is six.

Tonight I was Santa out in the yard. They heard the Bells and peaked out there windows. Santa was in their very own yard with a big bag of toys. When I saw them peaking out the window. I gestured with my hands folded by my head for them to get to sleep. They disappeared in a flash. Later my daughter told me the oldest one jumped into bed and squealed " MAMA HE can't see me awake".

They were so excited they were trying to keep their eyes closed, with big grins on their faces. After that I went to the apartment of some folks that I know don't have much. He has a security camera set up on his porch due to the neighborhood. I let myself be taped by the camera while I unloaded a bag full of toys and Little something for mom and dad.

Last year he suspected me of doing this but he didn't have a camera. I think they are going to have a surprise when they see the tape.

He is a hard working young guy. I know he wants there to be honor and dignity in the world. Unfortunately he thinks it is in that phony racist crap.

I hope I have been able to make a dent in his rigid thinking and show him a different way to view people.

Anyway I keep drooling on.

I do thank you again for wanting to help but I really think I have gone beyond that now. I still have a few weeks before it's time.

Oh I just remembered. If I may droll on a bit more.

Last night I could not sleep so I went for a drive. I drove most of the night. About 2:30 AM I found myself in a restaurant That I have not been in about 18 years.

I used to go there when I was a kid 40 years ago and you could get 5 cheeseburgers for a buck. I was a singer in a rock band and we used to practice in a guys basement who lived just across the alley from the restaurant.

So I got a cheeseburger and a cup of coffee under $3. I live about 70 miles from there now so I don't go there anymore. I was kind of eerie.

Merry Christmas

Dear Vietnam Vet
,
The greatest gift you could give me is stay alive to continue doing good.
The world needs as many "good does" as possible. Your work in hospice
makes you an angel. Please don't tarnish that fabulous legacy.

Stay strong and keep up the good works. Is there anything I can do to
help you make the right decision that will be good for you, your family
and the world?
Take care,
Ralph

Dear Vietnam Vet,

Those involved in hospice are angels. I took care of my mom and dad for three
years 24-7 after they had catastrophic illnesses. My mom died in April and my
dad is still on hospice. It is difficult to continue caring for him…a huge sacrifice.

Your heart is in the right place and you have done much good for others. You
still have the opportunity to do more good while you are still alive. I am
so sorry to hear about your back problems, but you paid into the system and
deserve the money. You should be proud about receiving what is rightfully
yours.

As for you wife and son, they chose their own path. You are not responsible for
how they turned out. It is a miracle you took care of them for so many years.
I am dealing with the same thing in my own marriage where the biblical saying
applies, "Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate. Bless those who curse
you. Pray for those who despitefully use and abuse you for this is the only way
to turn evil to good…by returning good for evil."

Since your life is filled with forgiveness for others, just think how many of your
sins God has forgiven. Unfortunately, I believe he does not forgive you for
taking your own life. In that moment you become your own god and will
suffer the punishment you know you deserve for usurping God's power of
life and death.

Eternity is a long time. Wouldn't your rather spend it in heaven rather than
HELL?

Your are in my prayers.

Take care,
Ralph

PS Thanks for the books. I look forward to reading them.
YOU ARE A SAINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Ralph,

You should be receiving two book in the mail. Both books are Thought provoking. I hope you enjoy them and find some tidbit that will assist you in your endeavors to inject some good in this world.

As for me it is people like you that make me sad that I have to leave. I was once like you. I tried to make a difference. Back in the seventies I started a food program to help who ever needed it.

I not only helped with food but what ever else I could do without actually handing out money. I involved my family as much as I could to teach them not only the joys that come from helping others, but that all peoples have commonalities and in some trick of the Gods this is how we are able to celebrate the differences.

(I have found that in many things the spiritual is a mirror image of the physical). That was when I lived in the city.

I had to move from the city in an effort to save my family. I wanted to get my wife into a new environment and my son who somehow found his way into NeoNatzi racist group into a new environment. So I moved to a country setting hoping it would make a difference.

It did not.

They only hated me more for it.

I continued to try to be a good force in the world I worked with churches in various food programs. I also volunteered at a local hospice.

I would sit with people who were chronically ill or dying so their families could have a break or do whatever they had to do. I must say I found that to be a privilege. Most recently I was working on becoming certified as a music practitioner for the chronically ill and dying. Thanks to my wife once again I was crushed in my heart and unable to continue.

I have had a couple of injuries to my lower back and now after two surgeries I am left with chronic pain and nerve damage. I have been forced to apply for Social security disability. That goes against everything I am.

I 'm sorry I have gone on way too much about myself and my woes.
Anyway I hope you enjoy the books.

Dear Vietnam Vet,

That would be great.
My address is:
Ralph Zuranski
3639 Midway Dr. Ste. B299
San Diego, CA 92110

I appreciate you. Hang in there and make
a difference in the world for good. You too
can be a HERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Take care,
Ralph